Before my loved one died

I was told there would be a return

“Look for a sign,” my loved one said

And I would never be alone

From the moment of the last exhale

My eyes darted in all different directions

My five senses went on the highest alert

I dissected my surroundings for any hints,

But all that emerged was my feeling empty and alone

Weeks slogged into months which dragged on into an entire year

Nothing. I thought, perhaps, an inside joke would reunite us

It did not. Maybe the heavenly orchestration of good fortune? That never arrived.

An astonishing reappearance in a sumptuous dream? No memory of the kind.

Not even the warming whisper of an intimate secret

During those inordinately blustery winter evenings,

When I was impossibly resigned to my aching loneliness

I’m sitting on the sofa now, the site where we used to sit side-by-side

Where once, many a night passed in such a pedestrian manner

At this moment, I would give anything for that era restored

So many loving sentiments we never exchanged

So many chances missed to move closer to one another

What possessed me then, to keep insisting on being left alone?

Flipping,

Once again,

Through our voluminous photo albums

My bittersweet tears descending,

Sliding cordially down the plastic sleeves

I stop to reflect.

I recall fondly.

I laugh riotously.

A remarkable reanimation of memory…

Waiting for a sign?

Such a yearning ceases to exist

For in the deepest part of my heart,

I know I am not alone