She was the mariner at sea,
born as tormented as stormwaters,
leaving wreckage in me.

Her eyes—
a scorching fire.
Even now I look away
when I see them
in other people’s faces.

She was consumed with rage—
emotions her Achilles’ heel,
she sliced at hers and mine
as though they were the arms
of a starfish.

I, stoic and resigned,
played secret stories with dolls
who weren’t meant to feel

but the spark clung on
like stubborn seaweed.

Her day was dream, she said,
and nights, a storyline that flowed
from one night to the next—
a portal to another world,

a secret that she shared with me
when she pulled me in for a moment
into her black seas.
I felt the closeness she could not
before abruptly she let go—

and left me with no reprieve,
not in life,
and not in dreams.

I could not reach into her deep,
tumultuous waters without drowning.

She buried herself in trifles
but I knew that she was cavernous,
mythical—I alone had glimpsed within
but never understood why

she was the way she was—

love slipping through her
like fine sand between fingers
that never felt the warmth of touch.
I reminisced
how we danced and sang
but when I tried to share her laughter,
her face would darken
like angry storm clouds.

The push and pull of her
left my soul seasick—
body grasped by the rip currents,
turning back before it was too late,

still rocking in their wake.

How I wanted to love her!

but she remains the mariner at sea,
adrift and aimless—

no anchor heavy enough.

Ala Amaochi is a poet and immigration attorney living in Northport, New York. Her work explores themes of identity, connection, and the search for self, as seen in her award-winning poem Bergamot, which earned Third Prize in the Babylon Village Arts Council poetry contest. Her writing has appeared in multiple anthologies, with several more forthcoming, and her poem Wonder exemplifies her ability to capture intimacy and transcendence through vivid imagery. Balancing her professional life with her creative pursuits, she continues to craft poetry that resonates across dimensions of personal and universal experience.