New York City back then was a vestibule with missing stairs

New York City back then was a caravan of homeless setting up shop from St. Marks Place to Houston midnight to 6am

New York City back then was the wild-eyed crack addict

The Hell’s Angel throwing him in the dumpster

The crack pipe screaming

New York City back then was my stare in the mirror

The dark circle under my eye

Deli tabs

Soy Burger dinners split in two

Sisters of Mercy, Odetta, Bleeker Bobs

New York City back then was constant motion

Crawling out of skins

Sprinklers, parks and acting classes

Grasping at stars

New York City back then was seeing a therapist

Daring a fix

Doubting the cure

New York City back then was confronting L.A.

Shouting, Screeching, Squealing

A thunderstorm of tears

New York City back then was cutting in silence

Was a stare in the mirror

At look what you’ve done

Nicca Ray is the author of two books, the memoir, Ray by Ray: A Daughter’s Take on the Legend of Nicholas Ray (Three Rooms Press) and the poetry collection, Back Seat Baby (Poison Fang Books). Her poetry has recently appeared in Maintenant 15 (Three Rooms Press), Paper Teller Diorama (Great Weather for Media) and in Love Love #4. She is a 2020 Acker Award recipient for memoir and a Pushcart Prize nominee.